They call them "speed humps"

Bigger than speed bumps, about 2 feet in length, actually, “speed humps” have come to the first portion of the long stretch of Hatteras Street between Van Nuys Boulevard and Hazeltine Avenue.

The reason (other than somebody calling and haranguing City Councilwoman Wendy Greuel) would seem to be that this portion of Hatteras is a pass-through street used by many who are not residents of the neighborhood and who, for some reason, want to get through it as quickly as acceleratingly possible.

Well, these “speed humps” will either slow you down or severly damage whatever is on the underside of your vehicle, usually the former, and they’ll probably make pedestrian life (we walk their often due to the presence of ACTUAL SIDEWALKS), not to mention residential life, more worth living.

Now if only they’d resurface Martha Street — which has become a pass-through of its own since the ever-popular Starbucks sprouted in the old Red Chariot serial-killer bar space on Tilden Avenue and Burbank Boulevard — and put a bunch of “speed humps” there. Then I’d be in suburban heaven.

Remember: Speed kills. Speed humps kill automobile undercarriages.